This Summer, my family and I took a trip to St. Louis for a mini vacay and learned the value in valuable lessons. While we were on our trip in Missouri, we visited the St. Louis City Museum.
If you’ve never been, it’s an interactive museum full of tunnels, caves, and things to climb throughout. My 11-year-old daughter is extremely afraid of heights and dark spaces, so of course she didn’t want to interact much of the time. My husband is very outgoing and always ready to try any and everything. When our daughter is afraid or holds back, he always tries to push her to do things. Often, it becomes a struggle for him to accept that she’s just not comfortable.
On this day throughout the museum, he continuously asked her if she wanted to crawl through the tunnels or climb the man-made lofts, but she consistently held back. My husband never stopped trying to encourage her to face her fears, although his efforts were met with denial.
One of the final attractions in the museum was the 10-story slide. Once again, my husband asked our daughter to join him, but she would not. He proceeded to go alone while we waited. To do this slide, you had to climb 10 stories of stairs! My husband did it and finished the slide, but afterwards he admitted that he became very uncomfortable after reaching the 5-story mark of the stairs.
He said that he was scared but just went ahead because he had been so consistent about my daughter doing things that day that she was uncomfortable with. He felt that it would make him look bad if he turned around and came back instead of going through with his decision. I’m always one for a family discussion, and this was a great opportunity.
I told my husband that I understood that he was trying to teach a valuable lesson: to face your fears. I know that he meant well and truly believed if our daughter faced her fears then she might find that she enjoys the things she’s afraid of. However, I encouraged him to look at it from a different perspective.
It’s ok for us to support our children within their fears or discomfort. I thought there could’ve been more value in the valuable lesson he was trying to teach had he turned around and come back from that slide. I think it’s important for our children to understand that it’s ok to not do things that make you uncomfortable. It’s ok to change your mind about something if you feel unsafe or not 100% sure about your choice. Facing your fears and trying new things are important, but it’s even more important for you to be ready to do that.
