I attended a funeral a few weeks ago, paying respect to a good man. I went to the funeral because I had worked with this man for a decade and had mad respect for who he was as a man, a husband, a father, and a pastor. He was well-known in our community and around the country. He was funny and smart and such a gifted speaker. I wanted to see his wife and share with her my sympathy and tell her how much I had appreciated her husband. The last time I saw him was at my Dad’s funeral, and he was so sweet in sharing sentiments about my dad with me.
A few weeks before his passing, a friend of mine – close to my age – passed away. I had been joining her family in praying for a miracle. She left a husband and 3 children and was about to be a grandmother. I was unable to go to her funeral, although I wish I could have. I contacted her husband and told him I wished that I could be there but was unable to do so due to a previous commitment. We shared some correspondence and I told him my husband and I would be praying for him and that we were there for him, if and when he needed anything.
Grief is hard, and funerals are hard. They are difficult if you are the one standing up next to the casket. They are difficult if they are for someone you loved or respected. They are difficult, because it is hard to know what to say, and we sometimes feel uncomfortable. Paying respect to someone and their family when they lose a loved one should be something we do even if it is uncomfortable or difficult.
I told my husband I think paying respect to someone when they die is a lost art. We are all so busy and have our own lives, but we need to stop and reflect on the lives of those who have meant something to us and respect their life.
I’ve been on both sides of the paying-respects card, and some of my sweetest memories have been at the funerals of my parents. The stories that were told, the people who showed up to support me and my brothers, and the sentiments that were bestowed upon our family took away some of the sting of grief.
The actions of coming alongside others when they grieve mean more than you could ever realize. I’ve been there, done that, and will continue to pay respect to those who grieve, too.
