The Overcompensater :: I’ll Do More


the overcompensatorI really hope you read the title in your best Terminator voice, “The Overcompensator – I’ll do more.” Raise your hand if you find yourself overcompensating for so much in your life, especially for your child. Raise your hand if you feel like what you’re doing is never enough. Raise your hand if you KNOW you’re doing more than enough, even in those moments you feel like you’re not. I bet most of you reading this can relate.

From experience, being a single mom who has raised her child pretty much single-handedly since day one, I find myself feeling all three of those statements to my core. The word “overcompensate” is such a prevalent word in my vocabulary. Well, to all my fellow overcompensators, WE DON’T NEED TO DO MORE!

One time, I was going to friend’s birthday party and coordinated for my daughter to go to two different cousins’ houses that day… and I still had mom guilt. Plus, she laid it on thick, like, “I can’t believe you’re doing something fun without me!” Ha! I was told by a friend, “You are allowed to have fun without her sometimes, trust me! She will still know she is loved – just that mom knows how to take care of herself to be her best self for that sweet girl!”

EDITOR’S NOTE :: If you worry that you’re not doing enough, you totally are! The fact that you care that much to worry over it means you’re doing more than enough. You’re doing great. Your kids know this. Now, they may not always appreciate all of your valiant efforts, but they KNOW they are loved and valued. 

A very wise woman once said, “You can’t take care of anyone else if you don’t first take care of yourself.” This was a woman who survived segregation, raising five children on her own, working two jobs, volunteering in the community, and had two mental breakdowns. She understands the importance of taking care of yourself as a woman and person in general to be at full capacity for those you love. It goes right along with that old adage, “You can’t pour anything from an empty cup.”

So, mamas, FILL YOUR OWN CUP! Then, you’ll have even more quality and intentional time to give to your children, your partner, your friends, your community, and beyond.


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