What month is it? Are we still in a movie about the world ending? That’s how I’ve felt for the last year. In the past 12 months, I’ve moved to a new house, transitioned jobs, birthed a baby, and kept a marriage & two kids alive. My oldest daughter started the weirdest year of kindergarten I could have imagined, and now attends in person two days a week in a building I’ve never stepped inside.
There were times I felt like I could not continue, and yet I did. It really brought to light for me that our society can be a lonely place. As mothers we really need support and that “village,” which was missing as we tried to socially distance.
Then mid-summer, wounds that have been present for 400 years had salt thrown in as we tried to scream louder that Black Lives Matter. The civil revolution is critical and simultaneously emotionally exhausting (I recognize as a White woman, I have the privilege of choice to engage or ignore).
As we emerge from this hellish tornado of pandemic life…. we might feel a bit like we’re languishing. You know, stagnate, empty…muddling through? Pretty much the opposite of flourishing. So what now? First off, give ourselves some damn grace! We’ve survived. And there’s no need to compare your struggle – you deserve the compassion. I try to talk to myself like I would to a friend:
“Girl, you’re amazing. You deserve a break! You’re trying your best and the world is wild right now!”
With the fog lifting, now is the time for self care. Not painting nails and drinking tea – unless that’s what you want. I mean, that intentional kind of self care. The kind we don’t necessarily want to do… exercise, therapy, drinking water, eating real food. You know yourself best – whatever the thing is that you need.
Now is the time. We cannot put it off. Our bank of energy is overdrafted! Start small. Like tiny. Miniscule. A deep breath. Relax your shoulders. Maybe it’s just scheduling the time to take a walk. Maybe it’s picking up some frozen foods that are healthy AND easy. Scheduling that wellness appointment you’ve put off. I’ve been prioritizing ten minutes of yoga, meditating, and continued virtual therapy.
You deserve the time and are worthy of care. So, here’s your permission slip.
– Signed, Dr. Weiter
@shinepsychology
