She loves me… she loves me not…. Oh, the craziness of raising a tween (who soon becomes a full-fledged teenager!) It’ll be okay, mama. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. 😉 Every day with a tween is a roller coaster of emotions – for us and them! This past year, I’ve often found myself zoning out and thinking back to childhood where we’d pick flowers and slowly pull of each petal, alternating, “He loves me; he loves me not” until the last petal was pulled. That silly, fun, nonsensical way of determining if a boy liked us back then was what I felt my real life raising a tween had become.
The last week of sixth grade, I get this text from her before our planned weekly mommy-daughter date. Sweet, right? (Even though I’m constantly trying to get her to work on her grammar, spelling, and punctuation!!!) That loving sweetness didn’t last long… I pick her up, we start talking, and next thing I know, she’s devastated she won’t be in school the last day to go bowling and to Kings Island with all her “friends”. Since when did she care so much about all her classmates?! She was only at this school for one year and won’t see any of them next year at her new junior high anyway… And, the whole year she said there were only two girls she actually liked to spend time with. I tell her, “You can go to Kings Island another time,” to which she responds ultra dramatically, “But, my classmates won’t be there!”
Me: “We’re going to Dollywood in August before you start seventh grade to do theme park and water park.”
Tween: “But, that’s three months away!!!”
Oh, the drama. By this time, we’ve made it to the BMV. We get her ID renewed, and she’s all set on that until she needs her driver’s permit in a few years (eek!!!!!). We got the new federal ID, so it required a crap ton of paperwork and documents, including me proving how I’m actually her mom (they don’t believe you just because you tell them you gave birth to the kid haha). That went well.
Then, we went to work out together at our local gym. She’s a great gym buddy. We did the elipticals together while wearing our AirPods and watching our shows. Then, we did our weights together and chatted the whole time. We ended with the water massage beds and headed next door to get sushi for dinner. Those couple hours were a blast with her!
Every day since then has been a series of ups and downs, whining and laughter, tears and hugs… raising a tween is not for the faint of heart. We’ve finally crossed over into the official teen years, and I can’t tell you which is worse: the preteen era or the teenage years. Time will tell. By the way, she did have an absolute blast at Dollywood, which had been her end-of-elementary-school celebration that had been planned forever. Thankful for that at least. 😉
Whatever you’re going through with your tween or teen, just do your best and take some wisdom to heart from my own mother, “It’s not you, honey; it’s them.” Best preparation she ever gave me! I don’t take any of it personally, and I keep telling her to talk to me when she’s 25; she’ll understand then. “Why 25?” “You’ll know when you’re 25.”
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