When he was just a few months over two, our older son started asking to pee on the potty when he would go to the bathroom with us. Of course, that was an easy yes. After this continued to happen regularly, I figured it was time to attempt potty training. We got out the little training potty, set it up in the living room, and did one of those naked weekends. He got pee down the first day and only had a few accidents the whole weekend, and even those happened when he was very intensely focused on something else. However, this adventure was not without its potty training fails.
We tried to venture out of the house to see an old friend while they were in town. Midway through brunch, there was a puddle on the restaurant floor. I mopped it up, changed his clothes, and we continued on. This happened again at the park the next day. Eventually, it kept happening enough that he asked to stop using the potty…so we stopped. Failed attempt #1.
The second attempt, I was ready. I paid for the Big Little Feelings potty training course. We took three days with no plans to do all the steps in order, and we stocked up on fun at-home activities. The first day was naked from the waist down again. He did great. We added pants with no underwear the next day. He did great! We ventured out of the house with the potty in tow. He did mostly great.
Days went by, though, and he never pooped. Everything I read said that it could be normal for it to take a few days for them to poop in the potty because it’s such a weird sensation for them. Fine, we waited. This child went FOUR DAYS without any poop even though he knew he had to go. He would even ask to sit on the potty to poop. However, once we were on the potty, it got scary, and he would beg to get off. After this back and forth to the potty, crying to get off and not poop once he was on, and still no poop, I started doing all the things BLF tells you not to do.
I was promising a trip to Target to pick out a prize. I was demanding he sit down and go. I was so overwhelmed with how hard it was to get over this last hurdle even though he had pee down so easily. Finally, I caved and offered him a diaper just to poop. He went immediately. However, he started asking more and more for a diaper “to poop” but then wanting to keep it on even if he didn’t go. So, we regressed back to diapers yet again. Failed attempt #2.
One day, he woke up like normal and simply asked to pee in the potty as soon as he woke up. When I offered a pull-up after he finished, he just said no. So, he spent the day in pants without a diaper with zero accidents. Same thing the next day. The whole time, I am consciously cramming all the fiber I can into his diet just in case we encounter the same issues as before. A few days in, despite the fiber, we were back to the same crossroads though — no poop.
Picture me, cross legged on the floor, in front of a toddler on a tiny toilet with a penguin face on it. With enough belly rubs, coaching, and hand holding (yes, while he was on the potty), he finally made it happen! FINALLY, SUCCESS ON ATTEMPT #3!
We didn’t throw a party or dance a jig for him, but we did ask him how proud he was of himself. He was so proud of himself. So, mama made good on that promise one potty training attempt ago, and we left Target with a new Paw Patrol toy that day. It’s still not perfect and he often still goes a few days between poops. We have to give fiber supplements and/or Miralax to make sure it happens. Usually, on poop days, he goes two or three times, like he’s cleaning himself out.
The point of this story wasn’t to tell you all about my kiddo’s pooping habits. It was to tell you that, regardless of what all the books say or the parenting courses preach, there is only so much you can do to make potty training a success. Your kiddo has to WANT to learn how to use the potty consistently before any progress can be made. If I had kept pushing either of the first two attempts, he would have eventually figured it all out. But there would have been a lot more tears and probably a lot more unnecessary accidents if I had. Of course, come in with every tool you need and prepare for every scenario. But there is nothing wrong with you or your little one if it takes more than one attempt.
Sometimes you have to take the short term fail to get the long-term win.
