It was a Thursday evening at the dinner table with my husband and 18-month-old. He’s stomping in his chair, refusing to sit down, because we are in the phase of “Heaven forbid I stay in my chair to eat dinner.” You may also be wondering, “Olivia, how is he stomping in his chair?”
Great question… he’s learned to unbuckle himself, duh.
My lab, named Pearl, was patiently waiting next to him for the next bite to hit the floor. I could feel every part of my body starting to sweat. Believe it or not, this is not when I lost it. After my son went to bed, I was sitting on the couch and just started crying. My husband, of course, comes in to ask me what’s wrong. I had to think about it, because it couldn’t just be that dinner was a mess…
Being an elementary school teacher in the thick of starting back to school, on top of work stress, leaving my baby everyday again, feeling as though there aren’t enough hours in the day… I was flat out exhausted, run down, all of the above! I looked down at my nails that basically only had two left with paint on them, and I blurted out, “Well I think I need to get my nails done.” My husband said, “Take all of the self-care you need! Please don’t feel like you’re asking or like this is a burden for me. I love one-on-one time with my boy!”
But I did feel that way because of mom guilt.
It is so real. No one tells you that when you have a child, you will ask to do the smallest things that you didn’t think twice about before because you feel guilty doing anything that doesn’t put your child first.
I decided to have a self-care morning the following Saturday, my choice because I could not miss the first college football game of the season. Did I miss my family? Yes. Was it worth it? 1,000% yes! I went to Starbucks, got my nails done, went to Chick-Fil-A, Starbucks again, and ended with a Target run with all the sweet time in the world to look at all of the Hearth and Hand décor I wanted without chasing a little one. It was amazing! I came home at noon for the Texas vs. Ohio State game and felt like a new woman.
Mom guilt is a very valid feeling, but we have to remember that if we don’t take care of ourselves first, we can’t do our day-to-day things that put our kids first.
