Windshield Time {Getting Teens to Talk}

Have you ever had a hard time getting teens to talk? Yeah, me, too. Let me share with you how I discovered “Windshield Time”.How was your day?

Fine.

How are you feeling?

OK.

Are you upset?

No.

Getting your kids to talk and open up can be tough sometimes. I’ve read all of the books and articles about how to ask the questions the right way so as to not be intrusive, but good grief, talking to your child can be just like pulling teeth!

My friend, Gram Donna, shared with me a piece of advice when my older boys were younger. I was telling her that they don’t seem to want to talk or share anything with me anymore. She told me to find out what they like to do and do it with them. Seemed simple enough. She shared with me that one of her sons was very quiet and reserved, and he loved to cook. When they cooked together, it was like he forgot that he was hanging with his mom, and he talked non-stop as they were working in the kitchen together.

This little tidbit of truth was a gold nugget for me. As my boys got older and their interests changed, I would find what they liked to do and do it, and sure enough they would open up and talk. We went through kicking the soccer ball together, going to movies together, cooking, and many other phases… and we talked.

My favorite time came when on the way to sporting events, away games, or music lessons, they were trapped with me in the car and some of our best talks were born. We called this “Windshield Time”. We would turn the music off, and they could not escape me, which ended up being some of our favorite trips and talks. Quite often, this became the time when they would spill their guts out, tattle on themselves, or come clean with something they had been hiding from me. Think about it: you have your eyes on the road, you can say anything you want, and you are not looking at each other. For a child, this is the perfect opportunity to share.

Don’t give up on talking to your child, especially when they enter their teen years. They need you, but they may not realize it. Trap them in the car for some quality time, or find something they like to do and do it with them; it will be well worth the investment.

What are your tips for getting teens to talk?